Where Do I Go From Here?

I am not happy in "blog world" right now. What I started out to do and where I have ended up aren't even close to my head visions. I originally had one blog and thought that would be all I needed. It was and is private. Then I thought maybe I would have something to say publicly-hence the Eyeballs one. It was passable for awhile altho some visitors took umbrage with what I had to say, so I made all comments having to be pre-approved first. I also took down anything that might be used to contact me in a bad way, so I had nothing that would identify me except my name. I also added a contact email that was fairly anonymous-but would be directed to my mail box when appropriate. I also posted some things to my private blog ONLY for my benefit.

When I started this crafty blog, I was enamoured of other paper/stamp blogs and thought maybe I could make a photo journey of what I liked and my progression as a stamper/paper crafter. It was easy to get all caught up in the frenzies that came about blog-wise about a year and a half ago. Everyone was doing it. I added a feed for every blog I visited. I tried to leave a comment on all of them at least once a week. I tried blog candy. I switched all my feeds to Reader. But for several months now I have felt at odds with "blog world".

I feel stifled because the more I add of me to the blog, the less people think to visit.(Honestly why it bothers me I don't know-validation maybe?) Some have vaguely mentioned on other blogs that they are only "here" for the photos (not just my blog but on other blogs too). I started another blog of the RAK's I have received with only artwork and the sender's name. Maybe that could appease the visual people. I cannot and won't do that on my main blog.

Hence I find myself posting less and just being ambivalent about the whole process. I wonder if it's the typical winter depression I always go thru because I so thrive on sunshine and there isn't much here in Michigan. Being sick isn't helping either. I have a huge stack of cards and a box full of items I have made-but I don't want to drag out the paraphernalia to photograph them. At least I am being creative-nothing like ink in your hand to make you play.

I am a thinking and expressive person and have opinions and feelings on so many things that I want to write about but am not sure where to put them. I guess I need a hybrid blog-one with all my life expressed in its bits and pieces instead of spreading it all over several of them. I am thinking of purchasing a web presence and doing just that. It will be all the pieces of me (no Jen, I am not stealing your title!). First I have to learn html, xhtml and Css. That is the only way I will have control over what I add and not be limited by Blogger, Type pad etc. I hate having ads tacked on to freebies. If I pay for my space, I can do what I want.

Most of you will not get this far-you are not looking for blabbering-you are looking for cards, scrapped pages or tutorials. If so, try the Top 50 sites or some specific searches in "blog world". I will be deleting any advertising on my blog that I feel is useless/or that is not what I use or want. I have already taken down the link for the stamp company I was a design team member on last spring. The Top 50 Stamping site is totally useless. I never get a visit from that site, so why should I advertise for them? I remember when my numbers went down and how cool it was to get 500 visits in a week. But some of the blogs listed on the Top 50 have nothing to do with stamping, so how legit is it? I can see where my visitors come from and where they exit to via the Live Feed widget (well at least the last 100 visits). I will be doing blog candy but a different way-details later this week.

I also want to add music but many people are freaked out by that. Since I always keep my computer speakers off until I need them, I am often surprised-and happily so when I find a player on blogs. What a fun way to discover new music and styles that "blog world" is hosting. Being a music junkie, I probably am keeping some smaller labels in business these days!

Well, its 1AM on MLK Day. A toast to a special man who's favorite word was Free. Can you imagine the blog he would have had? And he would not have wondered why he was blogging but would have reveled in the joy that he could!