The Birds

All birds flock to my front porch. And dive bomb my head. Then they feast on my grass seed and get drunk on fermented apples on the trees. Then they peck your eyes out.

Scraps, punch, brads, Bling, gel pen, and a stamp I turned up ways. Hitch would be proud.

Cat In A Pot

My problem isn't my cats. It's my dogs-one in particular. I have been growing small pots of veggies the last few years as having the bigger garden I did for years isn't possible anymore. Between the dogs and the lawn mower gone amok, I have nothing left. I planted strawberries. I planted blue berries. I planted pumpkins. All gone in one way or another. So back to the pots. The dog last summer dug half of the plants up. I admonished, punished, yelled, said bad words, hosed him. He still did it. Ate all the peppers, tomatillos and eggplants. This year I am trying again. Not two hours after planting, he had the pepper plants dug up and a tell tale dirty face. I have tried pepper sprays, too and nothing works. Any ideas?

This is a Great Impressions stamp again. I used corner punches and scraps of stuff (I cleaned up my scrap bins, but nothing else just yet). Coloring was with Prismacolors and Gamsol. I hope that kitty doesn't poop in that pot, tho. I just realized what would have been really cool on the card. Art Institute makes these pots of Elements and I could have made it look like dirt on the ground. Maybe next time.

Owl Eyes

This is about how my eyes feel after hours of research on the Internet. I don't know why I bother because the others are perfectly capable of finding the same info for themselves. But they can't spell. I don't think anyone who went to catholic schools can spell worth a lick. But we can speak in tongues (Latin is a tongue, right?),

This is a quickie. And it's boring. And so dark. And askew. But I like owls. My newer cards are looking much better but still off or crooked. You will see them in random order, so forgive the cheesy ones. I am gonna go trim the ribbons on this card a bit now. They photographed way too lengthy, I think.

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Boat To Sail

If I had a boat, I would call it the Southern Cross-after one of my favorite songs every. It's kinda weird how I love the ocean when I have spend so little time near it and never actually on it. I think it's how I believe true personal freedom would be for me. To have a boat and an open spacial arena and just to go. I would want a doggie and a kittie on board and a bunch of great books. I am not exactly sure how I would handle the whole vegetarian diet thing-so maybe tons of dried tofu and seaweed. And a solar cooker would be a must.

The vellum backing this image has a pattern much like clouds on it-but I rubbed distress inks in two colors over it for a foamy wave look. The coloring is with Prismacolors and Gamsol and that twine stuff-love it. I have a whole spool and can't find it now. It's from Stampin' Up and is one of the few items I bought that wasn't a stamp from the company. I need it for another card and the substitute I used is less than thrilling.

Every year I say I am going to rent a houseboat for a year in the upper area of Michigan near the bridge and float east to west and back-it's about a week's trip. I missed the deadline again. Anybody got a boat? If only I felt like I could spend the money but have to wait out the Government Motors decisions.

Flower Soft -My New BFF!!

OMG OMG OMG Have you tried Flower Soft yet?? I had purchased a few jars in January but forgot about them until I had a stamped image that I felt coloring would not do much for. So I tried the colors I had, which I ended up mixing to make a shaded effect. I know my first attempt isn't that great but it was good enough to make me want to get more colors. So I went from 3 tins to 9 and the colors I purchased will be usable by themselves or mixing even more customs colors for later. You have to touch this to really get the feel and in person, it's so much nicer.

These images are all from Great Impressions stamps. Click the photos to make them larger.

A little closer to maybe give you an idea of what to expect. A video I found on You tube is below. Now go stimulate the economy and buy a jar or two. I found them for 5-6 dollars and there is plenty to share in each jar.

Take Wing.

I have a nest of birdies in my soffit. This long overhang on the front porch has been a safe haven for spring harbingers for years and years. While there is another nest in my faux fern (that I deliberately leave up thru the winter just for nesting), the birds seem to like the soffit. It blew down several years ago, leaving a gape big enough for flight in and out. Last summer when I got my roof renewed, I had them fix the soffit. Or so I thought. The day after Christmas on the one warm and windy day of winter, it blew down again and I forgot to call the roofers. So I am giving safe haven to a nest of something. They have a hissie fit every time I use my front door.

So I am wishing them a safe flight out of the soffit as I am calling the roofers back on Monday. The rent on the nest is going up if they don't leave. Time to leave the coop, chickies. Plus I need to repaint the floor of the porch after the lifetime warranty on what I put down gave up the ghost at 2 years and peeled off. And the hornets better stay away this year, too. I want all of you to leave and give me some peace and quiet. I am not running a bed and breakfast for anyone who can't pay the going rate.

In The Dog House

I will give you three guesses and they all count.

This is another great way to use up all the scraps or odd pieces of designer card stock you have loading you down. The images are from Great Impressions. I hope to actually figure out a way to get my ribbon straight or unwrinkled in my lifetime. I point this out because I know someone else who will notate it. Have a nice hump day. And try to stay out of the doghouse.

How Sweet

An elephant never forgets. So it's been said. I have this odd thing that it's hard for me to forget many things even as I wish I could turn off those cells in my brain. It's really annoying to know they will never go away and spring out and bother me at the wrong times. Oh well, maybe in my next life...as an elephant. Since what else could I be? As long as I can have peanuts-I refuse to do anything unless I have peanuts.

Here it be that I have used a Lasting Impressions stencil, Lasting Impressions card stock and some remnants of stuff. Also a Cuttlebug, rub on and sandpaper. I have droopy ribbon. Like my droopy butt. I do remember what my butt looked like when it wasn't droopy. It matched the rest of my non-droopy parts. I remember why I droop. Will they? Someday it will be know they droop, too. And in my elephant stage, I will laugh and laugh. And beg for a peanut.

Petty Paws

Sorry, but I could not resist. I hate that Pedi Paws infomercial. I hope none of you got ripped off by a purchase of it, either. Consumer Reports said it shreds the nails and makes them susceptible to bacteria and other nasties for the doggie or kitty. If you have any know-how, a Dremel tool does a lot better job. Consumer Reports is worth the money just to say "I told you so" when they review those infomercial products and all the people who after purchasing say how bad the products are or what a rip off the price and postage is. Most of that stuff is available at Bed, Bath and Beyond sans postage and you can use those coupons BBBY sends 15 bazillion times a month.

The base card here was layered with flowery paper I antiqued a bit with Distress ink in burlap. The images were stamped in the same as this lets your image pop a little better. Coloring with Prismacolor and Gamsol and layers in limey green. It's a bit hard to see but the message stamp is layered over a sheer ribbon bit and a couple of crystals are attached. You can click to enlarge. These images are by Great Impressions . Many of the stamps stores carry them with some sort of deal. The SOTM is usually 50% off if you buy one at full price from a set of related stamps. Every month is something different so check their website for what is new and cute.

Tiger Eyes

I hate Mondays. I have to say that because it makes them easier to deal with. I usually have overdosed on the weekend with sports (real sports not that NASCAR crap). And sure enough, I was bleary eyed from the tube this past weekend. Baseball, basketball, hockey, golf and I even found a little track and field. The less said about the Pistons the better. Two words. They stunk. Tiger Woods had a 50% weekend. But 50% doesn't win a tournament. Wings I cursed at-for making brunch late so they stuck it to me by losing. Then we get to the Tigers-what is going on with them? I see glimmers of good stuff and then slam! back to reality. So this card is for them because it's a long summer and who knows what will happen.

I don't know who this image is from but it's pretty realistic. The image is on watercolor paper and colored using Prismacolor and Gamsol. Using several layers of Lasting Impressions card stock, I pop the layers using dots and also distressed a few edges with a razor. The small ribbon remnant is snot dotted as a photo corner. This card is sorta plain but great for a guy or a Tiger fan. Note there will be no lion cards forthcoming. The Pistons at their worst are far better than the Lions at their best. Isn't that pathetic?

Puppy Dog Tails

Sandpaper is my new cheap love. I have some small scraps from sanding the glue off the drywall and decided not to throw it away. And all those brass stencils just getting bent in a bin is a waste of money. So I really need to use my stash more.

This is cool card stock as it sands so nice. Lasting Impressions makes their own paper but often discontinues styles. And maybe four times a year, they come out with a new set of stencils, often seasonal. Don't really look for them at Joann's or Mike's anymore like I used to get them. Find a rubber stamp crafting store for a decent selection. I buy mine at Jane's/Sandee's (no website right now) and I used to get Dreamweaver stencils at Stacey's but she opted not to have them in store, but can order them. See sidebar for links.

This entire card is from one stencil. I just pop dotted the pieces together after I embossed them using a Cuttlebug, sanded and cut them out. Little kids can do it, that is why I am so good at it! If I had to change one thing it would be NOT to have drawn on eyes. It just looks dumb. The dog bone is a brad, btw.